So, you pretty much know where I’m headed with this one, right? But, let’s be fair and talk about the nice things first. The wit induced in the charming-yet-rugged Punjabi-inflicted-Hindi dialect brings smiles. Akshay Kumar does dutiful justice to his Mr. goody-two-shoes, flat character, like he’s been doing for ages - be nice, dance, preach, dance, and dance some more. At least the character is consistent!

Puneet’s character played by Ranveer Shorey is a refreshing change from the regular loser, third person in a love triangle. After a long time in Hindi cinema, this third person has a spine. He actually seems worthy of our darling heroine. I also enjoyed Sonu Sood’s dead look. And yes of course, Katrina Kaif looks her charming self.

Period.

Period to good things that can be said.

Dubbing must be one of the most difficult things an actor has to do and that’s why I admire it when most of our actors manage it so well. But, Katrina is just so off! We all know the lady can’t speak Hindi. But, she doesn’t even attempt to lip-sync in the songs!!

Not to mention, the songs themselves are off. The lyrics sound like random Panjabi lines strung together. I didn’t enjoy the music or the choreography. The picturization of a couple of songs are like bad tourism ads for Egypt. The raw beauty of those places has not been captured, only an attempt has been made to glamorize them.

I always thought the camera, the sound, the background score are supposed to add to the charm, the ambience of the scene. They are supposed to produce a rhythm, work in tune with each other. But, here they are merely performing a function as if their usage wasn’t given more than a single thought. So all they end up adding is chaos to the mayhem.

I digest that a woman travels all the way from Australia to Cairo to study criminal law. I try my best not to question the umpteen inconsistent side-characters who change their view according to the need of that particular scene. And I give the same treatment to police bringing an underworld Don’s friend to him in Australia.

I don’t question the gravity defying parachute. I accept Superman flying, so I welcome a super-villain who can make the parachute take a u-turn. I even smile at a person holding electrical wire in his bare hands while he’s electrocuting others. I satisfy myself with just raising my brow when people are consuming alcohol openly *while riding* in a convertible in a pre-dominantly Muslim country. Egypt is relatively liberal, I say, because I’m supposed to sit back and enjoy.

Enjoy what? One person pissing on another’s face? A table fan threatening a crotch? A random scene with people playing cricket patchily edited and forced in between two other random scenes - just so that the third person in the love triangle can get all jealous when a couple end up lying on each other while trying to grab a catch?

The opening disclaimers included lines to the effect that, “The hen in the hen chase scene is digitally crafted, no cruelty has been imposed on animals for the shoot of that scene.” Uhh…what about the cruelty inflicted upon us the humans who watched this tripe in the name of ‘mass entertainment’?

- Meetu, a part of the audience