The best thing about the movie is its length – the torture lasts for a relatively short time. Doesn’t the first lesson in “Murder Mystery Story Writing -101” cover that plot twists have to come at regular intervals? If it does not teach that, it must at the very least have mentioned that you certainly cannot have all your plot twists squeezed in the last fifteen minutes as a narrative, however short your movie is.

Okay, maybe we didn’t have time to do the murder mystery story writing course that I am raving about. But didn’t “Movie-Making -101” mention that you need people who have some sort of acting skills to play the lead roles? Celina Jaitley’s facial muscles, body language and dialogue delivery are so stiff that even if the entire budget of the movie was spent on getting an expression out of her, it wouldn’t help. A few scenes in the dark were effectively used to hide her face when she needed to show charged emotions. Kindly appreciate how craftily I avoided using the words ‘Celina Jaitley’ and ‘acting’ in the same sentence. Oops! I just did it, will make a better attempt next time! The intimate scenes are steamy but exist only to sensationalize. Aftab was just alright.

One person who surely has taken lessons is the lyricist, Sameer. Of course, he quit after the basic course which taught him to use rhyming words at the end of each sentence. The music sounded like any other Himesh Reshammiya product, namely bad.

Weak narration style, weaker character sketches, and godawful dialogues. Top it off with women who think sighing = acting. Now I need to find an education programme that teaches me to not watch everything that is churned out.